Letter by Asma to me :)

The day is finally here. You’re getting married. To a lovely young woman, too. Another milestone in your life. You have learned a lot throughout and gained immense popularity.. But this milestone is huge. This is being an adult, big-time. I’ll spare you the “it seems like only yesterday” that I remember so and so or such and such. Well – maybe just one … it seems like yesterday that I visited Layllpur and offered you Nestle guava at Daira’14.
Now you are to be Wardah s husband, I would like to share something I have learned along the way… important things; vitally important things. Like the need for trust, respect, honesty, equality and communication in a relationship.

To trust the other person with yourself. To respect the dignity of another human being at all costs. To seek the truth and be honest, always. To recognize your spouse as different, but equal. Above all, to keep the communication channels open, even when you don’t feel like it.

If you remember these things, almost any differences – and there will be plenty of those – can be resolved in a mutually beneficial way.Marriage is not easy. Sometimes it’s a challenge to remember those vows, even on a day-to-day basis. But it’s worth it. Human beings were made for companionship, to work in partnership, to experience love.

And remember that you can love someone but not always like them. Go easy on yourself; you’re only human. And so is your wife. No one is perfect, and no one has all the answers. Everyone has good days and not-so-good days. But when the two of you work together, you’ll get through just about anything that life puts in front of you.
Remember, too, not to lose yourself in another person. There’s that wonderful part of the two of you that no one else can touch, but it’s so important to allow each other your own identities as well. You will be a husband to Wardah , son to uncle Afzaal , father to your kids and uncle to the rest of the kids of Al’Miraj. but you’ll also always be simply Haider , with your own interests apart from those as a couple. The Haider who never loses himself, yet becomes better because of his partner in life. That’s so important.
There are some rules in fair fighting, and one of the biggest is to let the past rest in the past. Once you have resolved something, don’t keep bringing it up to re-hash it. That’s not fair. Once it’s done, it’s done. End of story. Mind it, what you say at home stays at home. Remember, too: don’t keep score; marriage is not a competition. It’s a partnership of equals. And don’t be afraid to ask for your own space…everyone needs to breathe, some times more than others. Also remember that your happiness is not your spouse’s responsibility – you are responsible for your own happiness. As for drama – well, keep that to a minimum.

I wish you happiness and joy, contentment and peace. But most of all, I wish you kindness and strength.. Always.. A very happy wedding to you and your better half.

PS: A big shout out to your fan club for not letting us feel that we are missing something, for updating us with every single activity. THANK YOU!!!

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Muhammad Haider Miraj

A person on the journey of self exploration & learning/development. Time and pain have been my teachers and mentor they made me believe that whatsoever happens, happens for the reason - its gives you learning and add value to yourself. Nature and Spirit helped me connecting within and connect the dots to enhance and and enrich the Faith. Aksr lafz insan ko khokhla bna dete hain jab insan kahe kuch aur .........kere kuch aur..... shaied main b khokhla hogya aur khud ki shanakht se bhagne wale kisi ko shanakht ne de skte. Shaied jo ap parhe wo ap ki zat ka ansar bhi hun q k hain to hum sab ik k hi jaye bus ab khaul mukhtalif pehn liye hain aur ye tehreerein khol walo k liye ne humare asal k liye hain. Duaon ka talib Haider Miraj

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